Birdie gives me the SHITS

Waking up to an extremely hot day isn't anyone's cup of tea. Today's forecast was the coolest being 20 degrees and hottest out at Parramatta is a whopping 38 degrees would sure cause a meltdown to anyone's system. But this morning I was greeted by a little harmless looking birdie perched outside my balcony, chirping (or making birdie noises) away a little tune (or what it my imagination). I smiled a little, savoured its tune and set for work at ICE like every other day.

Little did I expect that this little birdie is an evil little critic that decided to follow me down stairs, perched on a very well set up branch and do what birdies do after digestion has cleared.

The little shit had "shitted" on my my leg, I felt the warm streakiness of bird shit, with its grey and white bits mashed up with a couple of seeds here and there. Yuk!

Out of all the "shits" that I've encountered; dog shit, mouse shit and some darn people who give me the "shits" I can never manage to digest down bird shit. Its slimey and repulsive and the smell surely reeks.

The next thing you know, I rushed into my mum's bakery yelping "A bird's shitted on me! A bird's shitted on me! Arggh!", only to scare away mum's customers and also infuriating mum who told me to get out of the shop and wipe it off with some grass or something.

She later came out, feeling the pain of having "shit" on you and reassured that being "shitted" on by birdies is a good luck thing....in so called Vietnamese, Chinese, Asian, Slant eyed cultures and that its suppose to bring propsperity and make wishes come true.

"What?" I thought rediculously to myself.

Bird shit is the same as the genie in a lamp thing?

But then, why isn't there people standing under trees waiting to get "shitted on" or any new and emerging small businesses taking up the concept or any Shit Gurus out there.

I looked at my mum and it seems as though she may be bull-SHITing this one.

I love you mum!

P.S - But then again, this birdie could of be taking revenge for its fellow birdies after this incident in Melbourne earlier this year.