Tuesday, September 20, 2011

The Psychology of Backstabbers

I think I learnt recently that backstabbing is more of a situational activity rather than psychological. Backstabbing, predominantly talking bad about some else behind their back, when not stopped will usually lead to the demise of a group.  

So what does a backstabber thinks before he or she commits the dirty deeds? There are three rules that lead to this:
1. Backstabbing is opportunistic
2. Backstabbing has worked for the person before 
3. People who backstab have developed an ugly habit and it is to their embarrassment when they get busted

Window of Opportunity
Backstabbing is like a harmless infection that is activated in a compromised immune system. I've noticed that from my recent experience, that the culprit's thought of seeing a window of opportunity, maybe felt that his/her words can be the "thing" that tips the scales in favour for them. Their game plan is keeping people in the dark and then travelling from one person to another and setting up indifference. 

Past Success
People would only do things over and over again if they have benefited, and got away. So if the backstabber is not caught in its tracks, he/she will do it again and again. For me, I'm not too concerned to whether the backstabber succeeds or not, but it is also a test of faith to the people around who are witnessing this effect occur. 1. Do they side with the culprit? 2. Think critically and got to the bottom of the truth.

Caught in the act
So what to do when caught in the act? to my surprise, I'm quite bemused and lenient. I'm generally quite open minded and understand that there is possibly a lot going on behind a backstabber. Maybe they don't have true friends, don't have self belief or confidence so they need to put on a "brave" face? Jealously? There are many factors. So what to do with one? 1. You can attempt to defrag the situation and find some sort of solution 2. If it is repeated offender, its not worth your time and you might just have to let them go. 

TIPS TO GUARD YOURSELF FROM BACKSTABBING
1. Be an Appreciator - talk about the things you like, discuss what you prefer.
2. Never say anything you don't want to be true - I'm a big believer in the law of attraction so if you are focusing on the negatives, you know what, that is all you will receive .
3. Be Proactive - Be the change you see in the world. All that talking about change won't get anywhere unless you do something about it. That includes all the wingers and negative talkers of the world.
  

2 comments:

  1. Well Said.....I Dont know how to react if any of my close friends back stabbed me

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