Talk to the hand: Are you a Conversation Killer?

Its been another great week with ever so more lots of learning from the people around me. One thing that stood out this weekend was the recurring topic of COMMUNICATION and what are the hidden meanings behind what people say can paint the bigger picture of who they are. 


Great leaders are great communicators and while I've learnt that my team my know a lot of things about films and the technical, but if they fail at honing the critical skill of COMMUNICATION, it will be so hard for them in future. 
Here is some useful tips on BREAKING BAD COMMUNICATION HABITS. 


One Communication Mistake we all make
This happens when we are impatient or not considering the other person’s perspective and we simply think that making our voice heard and our message sent is in fact communicating.  Well, it is not.  Communication is all about how you actually deliver your message and so you cannot simply send your message without knowing it is actually received.

Don’t make the mistake of sending your message simply to get your ideas out without regard for others.  Keep your ego at bay when you want to be heard and consider whether it is an appropriate time for the receiver as well as you to communicate.  Remember, if they are not going to hear it, then it isn’t worth saying.

I listen quite a lot what people are saying and when I am not clear on what they are saying I will ask questions. If somebody tell me that talking to be is like talking to a "brick wall", that tells me something about the other person, not myself. On the other end, the person is frustrated on not getting their message across, and it is not because of the receiver, its because the sender isn't clear why the receiver should receive the information itself. 

Getting Past Being Right

The next mistake often made in communication is that of having to be right.  Many of us just love to be right and it is a conversation and healthy communication killer.  If you do not stop to listen to other perspectives and accept new ideas in the way you communicate, this having to be right habit will surface often and it a tough problem to break.  If you simply state that you disagree AFTER listening to another person’s angle and actually ensuring you understand it, you can still debate things in conversation but if you have a habit of telling someone else how they are wrong, you can immediately kill the conversation.

Criticism

Criticism for some people is very easy and its often the first thing on your mind when you hear other people’s ideas.  I think this is closely related to the bad habit of having to be right and this one comes more subtle but even more dangerous because often it isn’t even founded in anything.  Being critical and voicing it often comes very easy to most.  Its a way to express creative ideas but unfortunately, when it is delivered as critism, it is often a power trip for a creative mind to show their creative powers over another’s idea.

Overall, when I hear some start the conversation with absolute truths statements, I tend to flick back and wonder which CONVERSATION KILLERS they ticked off. So please my friends, if you come to be and say things like:...

"Bla bla bla...is the best...."

"Bla bla bla....is the crappest....."

"You never listen...."

"You should do this and that..."

I know you need a communication raincheck.